I realize that sleep training is much harder than I ever imagined it would be. This crazy journey of motherhood seems like a constant test of my patience, endurance, and sanity! My son no longer wants to sleep in his crib during the night or for his naps. He wants to sleep beside me. Although, this unconditional love is very heartwarming...not sleeping is a real pain in the ass! I am like a walking zombie all day. This, I realize is NO GOOD!
And so...
I have finally decided to sleep train my son. I have been leaving him to "cry it out" by himself in his crib. He is an incredibly persistent 6 month old however. He will cry himself blue at different pitches just to get my attention. It tears me up inside. I find myself wanting to run into that room time and time again, just to soothe him. Only I can't. Not if this is going to be an effective method of training. He won't ever learn if I continue to be the sucker. I just feel bad for the little guy. He is born enveloped in my womb, spent most of his first three months getting to know me intimately and now I am being ripped away from him so to speak, disrupting his comfort zone. Waking up alone is foreign to him and putting himself to sleep is definitely not something he is used to. It's funny but it seems that the fear of being alone, which haunts many adults throughout the course of their lives, begins here during infancy. My son does NOT want to be alone in that room. He freaks out and is learning to call me, which makes it worse! Hearing the yearning and relentless "mama" calling does a real number on me!
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